


You Deserved So Much Better

by siltoile



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison's Death, Character Study, Other, POV Lydia Martin, Post-Allison's Death, Pre-Season 1, Sad, post season 3B, still upset over this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 04:30:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2255955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siltoile/pseuds/siltoile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia wishes she could have told Allison a lot of things before she died, but the real story as to why Lydia talked to Allison is the one she wishes she could have told the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Deserved So Much Better

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's still not over Allison's death? Hint: It's me. So here is a little tidbit of how I think Lydia came to talk to Allison in the first place.

After Allison’s father has left the graveyard, many hours after lowering his only daughter and closest companion into the ground, Lydia still stood in front of the headstone. She traced the words with her fingertips, ‘Nous protegons ce qui ne peuvent pas se protéger eux mêmes.’ Allison’s words. Her code.

“Thank you,” Lydia said, “for protecting me. I never asked you to, but I know you would have done it anyway. You were always like that, I suppose. Kind, compassionate, forgiving, strong, and all the things I couldn’t be. I’m sorry I couldn’t return the favor.”

Silence lapsed for a bit. “On your first day at Beacon Hill High School, I came up to you and complimented your jacket. Initially, you would think I was shallow for just becoming friends with someone out of fashion taste, but that’s not true. In fact, it was one of the only things I never told you.”

Swallowing, Lydia launched into a secret she wish she would have told Allison before she— before she. . . “That morning, before I left for school, my mom came into my room and asked why I never brought any girl friends over and if I only ever hung out with Jackson and sometimes Danny.”

“I thought she was crazy! Why would I, Lydia Martin, need a girl friend when I had Jackson Whittemore? I told her so, and I threw in some words about how girls are bitches and don’t have any respect for me or my boyfriend. All lies, but Mom didn’t know that.”

“She told me that I needed to find at least one girl friend before the first game of the season. When I asked her why, she said that I would never know when I would need another girl’s advice on boys, dating, sex, or anything else that I couldn’t just read in a Cosmo. I rolled my eyes at her.”

“Then she put her hand on my shoulder and said that she wasn’t going to be around forever to talk about boys with, and since my sister was already out with her own life she was out of the question. When she squeezed my shoulder, she said that one day, I would thank her for that advice.”

“She was walking out of the room, and I was suddenly so scared- of, of rejection, of failing, of looking like a fool- that I asked how I make friends with a girl.”

“I remember she smiled and said, ‘Just go up to the first girl you see wearing something you like and compliment her on it. Be yourself, don’t worry about what the others think because you are beautiful and wonderful.’”

“I said, “Thanks, Mom,’ and I finished getting ready for school. Now, as we both know, you were not the first girl I saw that morning, but you were the first girl that hadn’t known me since pre-school, and I felt like my odds were better with you than anyone else. I did the math.” She smiled, almost hearing Allison’s giggle in her ears.

“I truly did like your jacket, and I was so happy that I talked to you. You were the best decision I ever made. . . and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Lydia set her jaw as she felt tears fall down her cheeks once again that day. A moment passed, then she gave a soft scoff. “You remember when Stiles went missing last spring?”

She waited for an answer she would never get for a second before pressing on, “Well, I went to his house once he came back and he told me something. . . something I’ll never forget. Especially now.” A sob heaved her body, causing her to steady herself on the stone in front of her. Recovering she said, “He-he said, ‘Death doesn’t happen to you. It happens to everyone around you. To all the people left standing around at your funeral wondering how they’re gonna live their life without you in it.’” She smiled fondly at the memory, the turning point really, of Stiles’ and hers relationship. The smile quickly faded, “And he was right because I don’t have a fucking clue how I’ll live my life without you, Ally A.”

Touching her fingers to her lips, she kissed them and pressed the kiss to the grave. “I love you, my best friend.” Walking away, she furiously wiped the tears from her face. Lydia turned back for a moment, drew in an unsteady breath, and whispered, “You deserved so much better than this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Look at that, I've made myself sad now.


End file.
